Wednesday, April 19, 2006

and breathe


Doing better, although I still cry spontaneously.
I spent much of the evening watching my old puppy, and she is really not herself anymore. She is tired. That helped me feel better... still sad but better. I decided to take half the day off on Friday and take everything very slowly. Yeesh, now I'm crying at work again just thinking about it.

My cousin and his wife had their baby yesterday morning. A healthy baby girl, although she was born a bit early due to blood pressure/heart rate/fetal distress issues. Apart from where they named her Gredtel Lynn and her name is doomed to never be spelled correctly, the whole event makes me feel happy and anxious. I wish all births could be happy and not have clouds over them like the Disaster's Girlfriend's baby is doomed for. Okay, I shouldn't use words like doomed... that only makes it worse.

I think I'm on the edge of some mild depression. Too many things are changing too fast, I need something to hold on to that can get me through to the other end of all this change. Technically that ought to be my testimony, but I'm aching for something a little more tangible that doesn't have to come from me. Growing up is highly over-rated, but I can't seem to find a way around it.

2 comments:

Stacy said...

You very well may be experiencing depression. It's quite common in pregnancy. You should talk to your doctor about it if I goes on much longer.

Sorry about Skittles. : (

Cam said...

>>I need something to hold on to that can get me through to the other end of all this change. Technically that ought to be my testimony, but I'm aching for something a little more tangible that doesn't have to come from me.<<
That would be Mr. Renn. :)

>>Growing up is highly over-rated..<<
You've made this unpleasant discovery already! Then its all down hill from here, kiddo! Teens can't wait to become adults, only to find out that being a worry free kid again wouldn't be half bad if it didn't require going back to High School.

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