Adventures in none of my business

The last weekend in June we visited Mr Renn's grandparents in Flaming Gorge.  At the end of the 3 going on 4 hour drive, we turned onto the dirt road subdivision and pulled up.  Renn saw the startlingly bereft state of the lawn and knew right away things were not going well.  His grandparents have owned the property for his entire life, and lived there for most of that time.  The yard was his grandpa's domain and in a tinkering fashion his pride and joy.  It was apparent he hadn't been able to devote one iota of himself to it in quite some time. The typically tidy lawn was nearly entirely dead, with weeds growing a foot or more high in the areas they'd managed enough water to take hold.  It was a rather ominous introduction to our weekend.



Renn's Grandpa had hardly left the house at all in quite a few months.  From what we can conjecture, he'd probably had a heart attack the weekend before we visited, and had another one two nights after we left.  He's been in a state of congestive heart failure for as long as I've known him, and has survived more heart attacks than I can shake a stick at. But he looked so much more consumed by it all than he had last year.  He was not sleeping at all and was requiring huge quantities of nitroglycerin to keep his blood vessels dilated enough to make the pain he was in bearable.  We didn't quite know any of this heading into the weekend. So instead of visiting the Dam or seeing sights, we ran errands to the pharmacy and picked up a new recliner for Renn's grandparents.  They live well over an hour from the nearest city. I think Renn's sweet grandmother has been pushing her self-sufficiency to its limit, trying to be the full-time always available nurse when her health isn't flawless either.



So there I stood, and as the daughter of a hospice guru, I felt like all of this pain and muddling through was not actually necessary.  I gather that several other people had tried to suggest hospice but had met a lot of stigma-based resistance.  I plowed right on by that and in one of the bossiest streaks of my life I researched available hospices (not many for such a remote location, but some!) chose one with Mr Renn and made him call them immediately.  I pushed a lot of people pretty far outside of their comfort zones to try to get him admitted as soon as possible, and when we left for home on Sunday afternoon I was under the impression that the hospice would be contacting them the next morning and everything would be appropriately expedited.



I was constantly bugging Mr Renn on Monday to see if he'd heard any updates, and finally made him call his grandmother that evening.  My heart dropped to realize they'd missed the call and nothing had proceeded that day.  Feeling mightily compelled I called the hospice myself that night and spent 45 minutes talking with the director about the particulars of their situation.  I finally felt like things were likely to be expedited and was able to sleep that night.

Unfortunately, that night was when the second heart attack hit, and despite his determination to never stay in a hospital again, pain rued the day and I woke up to find that Renn's grandparents were in the hospital in Vernal.  I spent the morning making another series of phone calls to make sure that the hospice and the hospital could work together to get things squared away.  It's all been very tricky for me, I feel responsible for this ball I tried to get rolling, but I also feel like it's none of my business since I am "just" the wife of a grandson.  There are lots (lots!) of people who are better suited to taking ownership of this.  It's just that I was there at the moment and did what I felt compelled to do, and feel the need to see it through.

The entire ordeal did consume most of my emotional energy this past week, and every day I've been constantly asking Mr Renn if he's gotten any more updates.  His nonchalance is never so irritating as when I am more anxious than him about something he ought to be more anxious than me about.  But since nonchalance is one of his crowning characteristics and anxiety is one of mine, it's an inevitable irritation.

I'm hoping with baited breath that hospice can be the miracle for them that I've heard so many stories of it being for other people.  That Mr Renn's grandpa can be made comfortable and that his grandma's burden can be lightened.  If not I'll feel personally responsible for the failure, despite my non-culpability.  I don't know when I've been so anxious for positive feedback about someone else's performance.

An interesting week, all told.  I'm hoping for less drama in the next one.
Renn thinks I'm crazy is always right when he thinks that, isn't he?

Our Annual Trek to Flaming Gorge

As Renn realized his summer was wont to slip away without any obvious opportunities for a trip to visit his grandparents in Flaming Gorge, he was quick to reserve Labor Day weekend for that purpose.  This  trip was in the works for a long time, but it still sneaked up on the pregnant lady.

It is always nice to get out there for a visit, and it is also always nice to come home and sleep in my own bed on my own mountain of pillows again.  (My current sleeping arrangement is beyond ridiculous - thank you heartburn.)

We traveled up on Friday, and then headed out Saturday morning to see Jones Hole.  I didn't fully anticipate the repercussions of driving an hour on a dirt/gravel road.  Lots of Braxton-Hicks for me.  But the boys loved seeing the fish hatchery, and the hike was an adventure too.








Funnily enough, the highlight of the outing was having to drive through a herd of cows - both ways.  My kids thought it was the BEST THING EVER.  Especially our gentleman who cried when there were no more cows mooing outside his window.



By the time we made it back to the house I was completely wiped out from the hiking and the dirt road-ing.   I slept for an unknown period of time while Mr Renn took the boys fishing in the rain.  They got drenched, but they all caught fish and came back in good spirits.



Sunday all the visitors dressed up for church and we took photos.  Sir O was eager to assist with photography duties.





After a huge mid-day meal and seeing the rest of the visitors off on their travels home, we took a drive out to Red Canyon for the requisite "Danger, watch your children" photos.





(Yes, Sir O insisted on wearing the same shirt pretty much the whole trip.  We packed others, I assure you.)   It rained off and on our entire trip, but since we weren't staying in a tent we didn't mind.  Plus we got to see a half dozen of these:



Monday morning we attempted another fishing outing before heading home.  Things started out well, but one gentleman of ours didn't sleep well (and didn't nap at all) the entire trip.  Pretty soon the fishing outing devolved from this:



to this:

 

(And no fish were caught.  But we did get to watch an Osprey fishing.  That was cool.)







Then we packed up and headed home.  Our kids were NOT happy to be leaving.  (Tears, again.) But real life with all those fun things like jobs and school and appointments and housekeeping was ready and waiting to pounce on us once we arrived.  But did I mention I like my bed?

over the river and through the woods

I suspect that Flaming Gorge may be Mr Renn's favorite place in all the world.

 

 It's a place so full of good memories, spanning about as far back as his memory serves him.  His Grandparents have lived there for ages. He lights up as we gain elevation during the uncomfortably long drive there. (4 hours if the stars align just right)  I am always a little hesitant to go.  You know - keeping tabs on small children in someone else's house and around lethal drop-off cliffs, there is some hassle involved.  But Mr Renn is always beaming in anticipation, and I do love the company, and so I am really pretty quick to consent.  And there's always the excuse of cutting more firewood to help get them through the winter.  They need it; they can't do it themselves; it gets people up there, and we are always glad.  We had an especially nice evening visiting with Renn's Grandma this last time.  She may be the best storyteller I've ever known.  And she is full of stories, true ones.  Next time I'm bringing my mp3 recorder and filling it up with her.  Because we will be back, any chance Renn can find.

 













 And here's a treat, I managed to catch this just minutes before we left last week:

the gorge

We were able to squeeze in another trip up to Flaming Gorge over the long weekend, and brought my family along.
 

Despite being dry and desert-y, it was still a perfect release into the mountains and nature for my boys.  Clearly everybody needs to spend more time out of doors.  (If only the pregnant lady was fit to comply).



Why yes, the 8 month pregnant lady in her Sunday dress DID look out of place at Red Canyon, thank you kindly.



Sir O, the fearless.... luckily being restrained here by triple paned glass....




We also made it to Swett Ranch, which despite being 5 minutes from Mr Renn's grandparents' house... had never once been visited (by Mr Renn or I).  It was interesting to see an intact homestead, although I kept wondering if the isolation of living on one would drive me literally insane.



We introduced my family to the "Big Damburger" in Dutch John.



And Sir O got to help make fresh salsa with a vintage meat grinder....



Not bad for a last-second trip!



We're all in recovery mode this fine Tuesday.  The laundry piles are daunting and I'm very much feeling that I'm in the last month of this pregnancy.  Looking it too...  sciatica, heartburn, and the whole nine yards.

Round trips

Is it worth almost 7 hours -round trip- of driving to get a 4 generation photo?

Depends on who you ask.

I'd say yes.  Just don't ask me when we've been in the car for 2.5 hours and my maternity jeans that have decided to be too small are making my hips and thighs riot with discomfort.  At that moment I may not be thinking clearly enough to say yes.

Besides, where else but Flaming Gorge can you order a hamburger that's bigger than a pizza?  (and forget to take a before photo?)



Or traipse out to Vernal to take a 1/2 mile hike to see a dinosaur fossil?  (Okay, so that may not have been our brightest, shiniest idea ever)



Or watch your husband single-handedly move a large tree into the back of a truck? (Felling trees is kind of exciting..... Mr Renn's grandparents use a lot of firewood every winter)



Or watch your boys play in the same cars their daddy used to play in and love every moment of it?  (Possibly my favorite part)

Still, it's nice to be back with our stuff, and to not be worried that Sir O is going to pee through his very last pair of pants at any moment.  We have just a few moments to catch our breath, and Mr Renn has his ACLS test and starts work!

definitely not dead

Just hibernated a bit up at Flaming Gorge for the week. Such loveliness and slowing-down of life! It was really, REALLY nice to have an excuse to remove myself from lots of things. Granted, I did sort of have Internet access, but it's hard to justify blogging when you're sharing a {borrowed} computer with lots of other people. So I didn't.

Here's my 3 brothers taking a "peet stop" during the 4ish hour drive there:

Oliver helping us de-cobweb the cabin:

Celebrating Oliver's "real" 1st birthday. Renn's Grandmother pulled out this antique guitar pan that she had used for her children. I just had to use it!

Apparently, the cake was A-OK

Lots and lots of fishies died on this trip. I'm told they were tasty. My 18yr brother here likes to eat the eyeballs. Weird, I know!

My brothers and Mr Renn rafting the Green River, my sister and I took the easy way and went on a drift boat. {meaning they got wet and we didn't} Mr Renn, as you can see, did his best to avoid any contact with the sun.

At the end of our river -run, this was a welcome sight!My brother {formerly known as...} and his son......and some dead fish.Yeah, that's my goofy family.....{sigh} Despite our dysfunctionality, it was a tremendous relief to all{be more or less forced to} spend so much time together and get a lot of garbage out of our systems. At the moment all familial relationships are in ship-shape.Oliver with Mr Renn's Dad, loving all the attention!We picked an awesome week to get out of the valley. Whilst Salt Lake City was frying in 100+ degree weather, we enjoyed days like this:Sir O in the Flaming Gorge Dam water......SO COLD! Despite the smile here, he was not such a fan.Sir O - zonked out on the beach.Mr Renn's grandparents have "pet" hummingbirds. Hundreds of them!They also have lots of plastic flowers in pots, the deer eat all the real ones!Sir O and his great-grandpa.4 Generations. {remember these people?}

Now I'm home trying to do 5 loads of laundry and finish the audio on this uncooperative family reunion project and get ready to leave again tomorrow morning!

I think I'm nuts. Or rather I was nuts a ways back and now I'm in it so deep that I need a new word.