Monday, July 03, 2006

Becoming more "Motherly"

Mr. Renn is watching Crash in the other room. Me, I cannot do it. It's even an edited version. Something about being pregnant has destroyed my ability to watch artificial angst. I cannot watch people being mean to each other. I really really cannot watch violence.

Now, I was not so much like this before I was pregnant. I sat through Csillagosok, katonĂ¡k (The Red and the White) with nary a complaint. Heck, I even made it through the European cut of Monster's Ball (granted I wanted to pound my head into the wall by the time it was over). I even did Badlands and very reluctantly made it through most of Fight Club, Se7en,The Big Lebowski, The Sweet Hereafter, and dozens of other films in which there was much that was praiseworthy, but also much that was disturbing. But nope, can't do it anymore.

Something about watching fallen people makes it hard to feel good about bringing a new person into the world. So I watched about 10 minutes of Crash, and called it quits. I'm done watching all the angry people, I'm going to go do something that gives me warm fuzzies.
Does this mean I'm a wuss? Am I doomed to indoctrinate my future self with an unbalanced media diet? Is this even a bad thing?

Considering that I'm always being told of pregnant women who cried at sappy formula or diaper commercials... I'm hoping that there is hope for me.

But I still think I'm going to lean away from angry/violent films for the rest of... maybe forever. I'm a mom now... and moms generally want to do everything they can to reduce all anger and violence in the world.

My 15 yr brother bought a "little red book" while he was in China. It's an English translation of Mao doctrine-isms. Some of them are funny, but most are just scary because they are so chuck full of anger.

How does one calm the world down? Doesn't every mother want to know?


Anonymous said...

Both Fight Club and Monster's Ball were too much for me, pregnant or not. I can't imagine what the unrated European versions looked like...

There are movies and art that I used to LOVE, but something changes when you have a child- and it doesn't go away once the baby is here, either. Your heart...refines...I guess would be a good description. Seeing pain and fallen, sad, struggling souls is no longer entertainment (was it ever? I don't know).

It is much harder to separate yourself from the pain of the world once that could be your child up there, out there, over there.

I love your observations.

--jeff * said...

this is really a rather fascinating change... and perhaps the genesis for an excellent graduate study, looking at how womens' understanding and views of media and approporiateness changes with the introduction into motherhood. [i think a look at the new-father's psyche would also be interesting, but likely not as widely marked.]

scholarly-babel aside, i think that is really a wonderful choice/change you are experiencing, em. i'm sure you are more familiar with this than i, but dean has commented how there are enough wonderful and 'family-appropriate' movies to keep even the most avid viewer [like yourself] entertained and enlightened for a lifetime.

yes, the mother in you may not appreciate some of the great works that you once did, but that is not a loss. great films are indeed great films, but raising your children with stories and morals that teach great lessons without unnecessarily running them through the muck is the greater choice.

'pulp fiction' is one of the best movies i have ever seen, and the catalyst for me getting into the whole quagmire, but is also one that i put away a few years ago [the tv version].

you are establishing yourself for being a strong mother while still being squished inside.
i say, 'good for you.'

i also say, 'make sure your children get a health diet of buster keaton.'

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