Thursday, August 17, 2006

Blithering Blahness

You know you're really stressed out when it starts to affect you ability to create breastmilk.
I'm going to have to start supplementing with formula to keep Sir Oliver happy, as my body, alas, is too tense to do its duty. Blast.
We are so out of money. We won't know about the rest of Mr. Renn's financial aid applications until after school starts (which I find to be absolutely ridiculous - how in the heck are you supposed to plan your living situation if you don't know what your money situation is going to be?). Mr. Renn called me last night to tell me he doesn't think we can afford to come home for Christmas. Yup, that was the clincher. My mammaries got all choked up, literally. Apparently we'd have to buy our plane tickets home with our non-existant money really soon in order to get a seat. Did I need that additional stress right now? Not really.
I've started casually looking for a job in PA. I just don't see how we'll make ends meet otherwise. How sad does this make me? I was planning on stay-at-home-mom-ing. But if I have to choose between being a stay-at-home-mom and having a home.....
So between my stunted milk-supply and my resurfacing ulcer, I'm.doing.great.


Vanessa and Rebecca said...

Ok breathe. I don't remember why you're moving but I've been in the exact same situation. We came to DC working on $600 short every month for bills to be paid in full (dh's financial aid came up short). That's what I'm doing and it's great. There are tons of people wanting to pay for someone to pick their kids up from school until they get home from work. A couple of hours a day will pay almost $300/wk. This way I could be a stay-at-home mommy, just to more than my own babies. Don't worry things tend to work themselves out. Breathe, in-out-in-out.

ps I've been a silent lurker for a bit. Oliver is a cutie. :-)

Anonymous said...

I just read the last four posts... Oh, Em... hang in there! I know you feel like you're in a pressure cooker right now- moving ranks right under death and divorce on the stress-meter, so go easy on yourself. It really is hard, and you're totally normal for feeling the way you do.

Try not to worry about something as far away as Christmas right now- the first year we moved away, we ended up having Christmas by ourselves, too, for the same reason. I won't say it was the best Christmas ever, but we survived and are all ok, and the next one was fantastic. Try and drink more water for your milk and just hand it over to HF. Mr Oliver will be just great, even if you have to supplement. You'll be my prayers today.

hairyshoefairy said...

Why are financial aid people stupid?! I've asked myslef that many times since we've moved here. Exactly what you said, how are we dupposed to plan our living situation if we don't know what we have to work with? Seems very unhelpful to me.

We were in a similar situation when we moved for school, too. We maxed out all our credit cards for our move and the first month and a half of school. DH's financial aid didn't come in until a couple of months into school (then we paid off all our credit cards, of course) and even then it wasn't in full. It was really screwed up. All I have to say is pay your tithing. It works! Like Tracy said, hand it over to HF and everything will be okay. It's rough, though. At least you know you're not alone.

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