Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Spilling out

It's almost 11:30 and both my boys are asleep. I've been go-go-going so much lately I haven't had time to breathe properly. I almost feel as if I'm in danger of losing my momentum and falling into itty bitty pieces. I've been manic with projects like buying and assembling a new desk that can actually hold all of our stuff in less space than the old one, painting Sir Oliver's bedroom, finding creative ways to make our insanely small bathroom functional, trying to stay on top of the laundry with a sick snotty baby that gets all 3 of us doused in snot every day. Trying to stay on top of having enough quarters to do laundry in a single washer and dryer that are 4 flights of stairs down and have to accommodate 21 households. (Yeah, that's a crapshoot). Trying to figure out why produce goes bad so fast here and figure out how to tote my groceries from the parking lot up the stairs to my apartment without leaving my baby to scream which he inevitably will if I put him down because he can sense that I need to do something and thus chooses to be clingy.....
stuff like that.....
I haven't been getting out much. At least not in a social sense (meaning trips to the grocery store don't count). I feel painfully isolated some moments. I think if I did not have a cute baby doing cute baby things all the time I might be getting rather depressed. Luckily he is darn good company.
I'm hoping, and it may be a hope against hope, that once I get the apartment to a reasonably functional/feels-like-home-iness state, that I can do something to keep my adult brain sane. I've yet to find out where the library is here. I'm holding out until I can go without Sir Oliver and really get to know the place. (I love him but it is quite the distraction!)
Since traffic here is horrorific, all non-urgent errands have to be finished by 3pm, otherwise drive time doubles. (There is also the option of not starting the errand until 8pm...) After 3 traffic starts backing up both ways on the road that is our only outlet from our parking lot. It's like that everywhere here because the roads are so skinny. You could have a green light at an intersection where nobody gets to move because the person in front needed to turn left (there are no turning lanes at most intersections) but there was too much traffic coming the other way.... it's crazy sometimes!
Anyway - where was I headed with that? I guess just that I feel rather caged-in. I can barely get showered and presentable by noon to go out anywhere, the internet only works about 2 days out of the week (I'm working on that), I'm not making friends nearly as quickly as I would like, and Mr. Renn (who is doing better at having realistic expectations for me) needs to study like mad and so doesn't quite have the time to be the kind of sole-company I'd need to stay sane.
Plus my family seems to be too busy to call me. I have to call them, which is not a surprise, but still a bit of a disappointment.
Despite all that dreary sounding stuff, I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe it's the painting. There is something singularly energizing about painting a room. (Even if nobody notices)

Separate random thought:
Our neighbor, across the hall, is a single mom. We had invited her to dinner on Tuesday and she couldn't make it because her son got sick. (She let me know the night before) So come Tuesday night I made Chicken Noodle Soup and Rolls and took it over so she wouldn't have to make dinner and because soup is what you make for sick people (right?)..... Well word has gotten back to me that it made her really nervous and now she thinks I want something from her. Good grief, can't a person be nice without making people suspicious?


And such is my life... not too shabby.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

*hugs* You can make it! I think it's so hard starting over in a new place. It's new and exciting, but also intimidating and frustrating and a million other emotions. I can't imagine doing it with a brand new baby. You amaze me Em. I'm thinking about you!

Kristi said...

I feel for you.

We live fairly far from family right now and it sucks. I definitely feel isolated and lonely.

I hope you find your center soon.

Anonymous said...

It'll get better, I promise!! Moving with a baby is so hard- we did it too, and it was a few months before I finally felt normal again...

I have a New Native baby sling that might help with toting Mr O around... Abby is too big for it (actually to heavy for my back 20#+ now!) Do you want it??

samunwritten said...

Hang in there!
Trust me, I know the whole isolation thing and it sucks. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Glad you have Sir Oliver to keep you company though. You don't get a cuter hang-out buddy than that.

Unknown said...

Sorry for the lack of support this past week. We are trying to get your package mailed this weekend and we will try to call as well. Between my trip and dealing with Matt - our attention has been totally consumed.

Cam said...

>>Well word has gotten back to me that it made her really nervous and now she thinks I want something from her. Good grief, can't a person be nice without making people suspicious?<<

The "M" word makes some people nervous. No, I'm not referring to "Mother".

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