Sunday, January 14, 2007

wee hours

11:45 pm: just spent over an hour convincing Sir Oliver that he really was tired. He's been requiring an awful lot of convincing lately - borders on exasperating. He does the tired cry, the eye-rubbing thing, all signs point to tired. But no matter what sleep-condusive situation I create for the kid, he just can't seem to resist fighting it! He flails and cries and gets himself all wound up into a mess that takes a long long time to soothe over. He really seems to like sleep once he gets there, until he gets past the "deep sleep" part of the sleep cycle and flails himself back awake and requires another hour to be convinced back into sleep. Man alive the hurdles we have to clear for a few winks!
Does not make for a happy healthy mama.
So if you happen to stop by and notice that I haven't been waking up until 10, or showering until noon, I'll have you know that I have to sleep that late to get enough sleep to function, which is closer to the 4-5 hour end of the spectrum than the 8-10 end. Do not even think about giving me a "sad lazy SAHM-shame on you" look, because I am sleep deprived enough to throw punches without thinking it through first.
Now, to try to fall asleep before Sir Oliver falls awake.
(p.s. sleeping tips are welcome, both for myself and Sir O, just be kind and tactful as I am ever so edgy of late)


tracy m said...

Oh, Sweetie- I'm soooo sorry. Jeffrey was just that kind of sleeper, too. It took forever to get him to sleep- and we co-slept until he was 8 months old. I never got any sleep. (any consolation, he is now a great sleeper, but still tried to get in bed with me most nights!)

Eric and Abby- WAY different story. I learned my lesson with Jeffrey, and knew I had neither the reserves nor the patience to go through what Jeff did with two more babies.

When they got obviously tired- the eye rubbing, the fussing, the cues- I would put them in bed, give loves, a bink, whatever cuddles we had agreed upon, then I would shut the door. I know it sounds awful, and the first time, I cried my eyes out, and David stayed upstairs while I had to go downstairs because I was a wreck. But you know what? He slept thorugh the night. And almost every night following the initial cry- and Beanie is still a great sleeper- he will even go get in bed all by himself and tell me he needs a rest...

It's brutally hard, but my Pediatrician told me once a baby is over 15 pounds, they don't need to eat at night, and if they are waking up or resisting sleep, it's social and conditioning, not need. And mama NEEDS sleep.

I couldn't do that with Jeff- I read all the attachment parenting books, and just didn't have the heart- and I'm still paying for it with a boy who loves to sleep next to mama- Beanie and Abby have MUCH healthier sleep habits. Abby will actually wake up, chatter and talk to herself, I can go in a cover he up and kiss her, and she will just coo and smile, and go back to sleep. Because she KNOWS bed is bed...

Everyone's experience and needs are different, and only you can decide what is right for you family, but that's my .02 cents worth- for what it's worth!...

Good luck- and I've said this before, but you can call me if you want to! Hang in there- you're doing a wonderful job!

Anonymous said...

Boy can I relate! But I completely agree with Tracy in my experience thus far. I did that with Gredtel and it's wonderful now because anyone can put her to bed anytime she's tired. she said, it was hard for me to hear her cry. But after that one night, she's gone to bed without a peep ever since. I read "BabyWise" to help myself figure out sleep paterns because I needed a clear cut vision of how to do it.
As far as sleep for you, I'm also dealing with the "catching up on sleep during the day because of deprivation at night". I completely understand the awkwardness of opening the door to someone at 11am and still being in PJ's with smeared mascara, feeling the need to explain my appearance away. Know that if the person is a mama, they can probably relate.

Chantele Sedgwick said...

I agree with Tracy also. I started putting Caden to bed while he was awake when he was really little. I had a few tough nights listening to him cry, but once he figured out mama was not going to come get him, he would just fall asleep. Now we can put him to bed and he usually doesn't make a peep! He is a good little sleeper. As for you getting ready at noon...I do the same thing. I am sure it will get worse in a few weeks when I have two kids! Don't worry about it! Mom's need their sleep!:)

Anonymous said...

Hey Em,
Looks like everyone agrees with Tracy. I went through the nights of getting up with a baby that really needed sleep. Finally I had to let Ryan cry (mostly scream) it out. It was the longest, hardest and worst 45 minutes of my life. But now he is a really good sleeper. I know it's so hard I almost went in to get him a million times. But it was so worth it, and we only had to do it once.
You are so smart to get sleep when you can, so don't feel embarrassed about it. Good luck!

hairyshoefairy said...

I just went through this with Peanut and letting her cry it out one night really worked. It's hard and I had to be at the other end of the apartment with a movie going to keep from crying really hard. Now she goes to sleep around 9-9:30 at night and if she wakes up between then and when we go to bed we let her cry herself back to sleep. That really only happened a couple of days after the initial cry-out and now she goes back to sleep really quickly.

Also, I'm a true believer in really tight swaddling. We've swaddled Peanut since birth and she sleeps longer and better cuz she can't wake herself with flailing arms. We've also recently learned she sleeps well to relaxing classical music. That's what has worked best for us, so take what you want from it. I hope something can help you. Good luck!!

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