Sunday, February 04, 2007

No Soliciting

I appear to have a sign on my forehead that says "give me advice for baby-sleeping tricks, I would love to hear you go on and on as though you were an expert....."

I'm just getting a lot of unsolicited pointers about that and other points of parenting. Solicited ones are great, and there are even a few people (including many of you) from whom any advice is welcome. But you can only absorb so much "advice" before it stops being constructive.

Sir Oliver is not a bad sleeper. He is a bit of a night owl, but then so am I. Between 11pm and 10am he only wakes up to feed 1-3 times. That works for me for now just fine. I recognize that wouldn't be true if I had a second child who was waking up at 6 or 7am everyday .... but I don't.

I am intensely aware of how different each little baby with their little baby personality is. What worked for your kids, for your family, and for you isn't necessarily the solution for me or my baby. No single book or method is going to turn every baby into an 8p-8a sleeper. As a mother I am entitled to feel I know more about my baby than anybody else. I know his habits, his routine, his signs of hunger and fatigue, his ticklish spots, and when his (still unpopped) teeth are bugging him. At this tender age his baby personality is just peeking through (he's marvelously agreeable) and that personality is at least as considerable a factor as any "parenting method" I apply.

So I'm sure all 12 books about getting babies to sleep that have been recommended to me are great. I'm glad the one you're vouching for was so helpful for you. I probably will not read it. During the 3 hours at night that your kid is sleeping and mine is awake we are cuddling and laughing and sharing baby kisses. I'm not complaining.

My baby loves me, and he lets me sleep in.


hairyshoefairy said...

Yes!! My babe sleeps in, too, and guess what? I'm okay with that! I don't need other people tossing out advice that I don't ask for. So with you on that one.

Deena said...

AMEN! Do people just not have enough to worry about that they have to stick their noses where they don't belong?

Maybe you feel that way with me commenting on your blog because you have no clue who I am. I hope not, I really enjoy your writing!

Anonymous said...

Good on ya!

The advice I give new parents is that EVERYONE will be offering advice, listen to it, nod and smile, and then go and do what works for you.

It kept me sane through those no sleep months.....

tracy m said...

It really is amazing what some folks feel at liberty to comment on... (I hope I've never overstepped my bounds!) The single most important thing in motherhood, imho, is "is it working for you? and for baby?"- everything else is just frosing.

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right. You know your baby better than anyone. I personally miss those night time feedings. I don't know how but babies are cuter between midnight and 5 am.

--jeff * said...

i liked this post.

Anonymous said...

Jenna just told me about this blog! You are too funny!
And, uh I'm shamefaced that I'm probably the one that spurned this post? Ach- I just realized I am very close to turning into my mother-in-law, mother and every other person who attacked me with unwanted advice first time around. Sorry. It's yet another curse of the colony. I share a story with one person, they say "Oh you should tell that to so and so. I hear they need some help"
So good for you. Keep that little night owl hooting. And stay away from those baby books. They're addicting.

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