Wednesday, July 02, 2008

me and irony being peas in pods-ish

Everyone has days when it feels like their life is a joke, but I've had so many in a row that I'm forgetting to have moments in between when I feel like my life is worth steering in any particular direction.

Mr Renn wanted to order Pizza Hut to celebrate his boards being over with (he says he's pretty sure he passed, which is a good sign.... most people don't know whether they passed or not.... then they pass). Since we only "eat out" in any form about once every 2-3 months, it's a big deal. I dropped by to pick up our order after my last piano lesson today and the lady had to give me the total 3 times because I kept forgetting to open my wallet and pay her! Then I promptly dropped my cell phone and all its parts went dancing all over the floor and as I apologized and picked it all up the lady asked me "does that happen often?" And it wasn't a sympathetic question either. I'm not showing enough to get pregnancy sympathy just yet. She was in earnest. I said "yes", even though my phone doesn't usually end in 3 parts when it's dropped. Ouch.

One of my brand new summer piano students is quite a character. I swear she must be OCD or something. She does not hesitate to tell me that my handwriting bugs her, that she hates it when I put stickers on completed worksheets, that she did not learn anything during her lesson that day, etc. And she's about 7. It makes me feel about 2 inches tall.

Speaking of piano, I've apparently got to make some serious decisions about what the heck I'm trying to accomplish with teaching piano. I keep getting offers for new students, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to want/need to cut back (or possibly quit altogether) once the belly monster pops. I didn't quite anticipate having to make a decision this early, but the pressure is on, and my brain is fizzling under it. Suggestions?

Someone just tell me I'm normal worthwhile and things will work out and then I'll be ok.


Leith said...

Oh Em, I felt EXACTLY the same way as you do now. And, to make you feel even more incompetent is the fact that you know exactly how competent you really are. It was one of the most frustrating times for me.

I hope this makes you feel better: Its almost 6pm and I haven't showered today yet. My hair looks like Medusa is my stylist. I'm sitting in sweats (that I've worn for the second day now) and I'm covered in poop, vomit and snot, and I smell like sour milk. Oh and all I've had to eat are vanilla creme cookies, cause I haven't had a spare hand to make myself a sandwich with. Normally I would never disclose this much info, but you need to know that we all have those days.

Congrats by the way. Chin up. We still love you!!!

Anonymous said...

You are normal. You are wonderful. Do not let a 7 year-old destroy your self-esteem; seven year-olds think the world revolves around them, and are often merciless in thier "observation" of others. Tact is not in their vocabulary- trust me, I have one in my house with me!

Cut yourself some slack. Adjusting from one baby to two is work- and you are having a hard pregnancy, you have a hubby in school full time, you have a busy toddler, and you have terrible morning sickness. If you don't totally need the money, I might even consider dropping lessons all the way- at least until you figure out the new balance in your family.

You're doing just fine. Hang in there.

Angela said...

Totally normal, completely worthwhile, and things will definitely work out. Ruby LOVED your piano teaching techniques, and she learned quite a bit in the few short weeks you taught her. She learned to love piano when you taught her and she loves it still!

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