Saturday, October 23, 2010

knee deep

I can't keep track of anything lately.
My days are being lived minute-to-minute and in my brain they get blurred together like a sequential sludge.  Mostly it's a constant effort to keep at least one of three little men appeased or asleep.
Breastfeeding is going well; it almost doesn't hurt anymore.
Reflux is not where I'd like it to be, but our gentleman is gaining weight, so it mustn't be too bad.
Sleeping is not our strong suite yet, but I still have hope.
And there is no risk of jauntice, as our gentleman is plowing through diapers at an impressive rate.


Somehow these details are the substance of life just now.
Which is good. I think of the alternatives and I take my reality quite happily.
There's just not a whole lot of action, not many verbs in my life besides eat, sleep, change, burp, yell, and occasionally taking a quick shower.  I don't have the presence or power of mind to describe these minutiae with any clarity or poignance.  I'm sad about that, but don't see a burst of brilliance in my near future.

@ Grandma's back door

Because he would become insanely stir-crazy if he were forced to live at this quasi-remedial pace, Mr Renn took the older two boys for an outing with his parents this morning.  Last weekend they did the same, and began pondering just how it was that pioneers managed wagons and handcarts across and through the Rockies, which thought led to the decision to drive through Emigration Canyon today.  As always they had a great time, and the boys returned with beaming smiles and Sir O's mile-a-minute description of what they'd seen.   It looks to have been a gorgeous, relaxing outing.

Emigration Canyon

I slept most of the time they were gone, as our little gentleman had a particularly rough time falling asleep last night.  I didn't wrestle him down until well after 3am.  It feels like a wrestle; that dance of trying to get all factors to combine just right so that a little man falls asleep, and then stays asleep when he is laid down.  I got trumped so many times that I probably would have given up, had that been an option.  Luckily I've convinced myself that the longer it takes to finally get him asleep, the longer he's likely to stay asleep.  Don't burst my bubble, it's keeping me sane.

our sleeping gentleman

There are moments when I regard Mr Renn's ability to sleep through all the nighttime drama with less than perfect regard.  It can seem so unfair when only mothers are wired to sleep with their ears wide open.  Mothers need sleep too, you know.  They probably need it more than anyone else, and yet so rarely do we get enough of it.  Consider thanking your mother for all the sleep she has lost on your account, I'm sure it adds up to more than enough dark and droopy hours to merit a spectacular show of gratitude.


--jeff * said...

"Somehow these details are the substance of life just now.
Which is good. I think of the alternatives and I take my reality quite happily."

lines like this remind me why i enjoy reading your little piece of creation that is this blog. : )

Chell said...

Oh Em he is just so cute. SOunds like things are going well, all things onsidered and that is a happy thing!!

Angela said...

I'm sitting here nursing my almost three month old and smiling warmly at your description of life with a newborn. You are handling it far better than I did. My hat is off to you!

hairyshoefairy said...

Emigration canyon is great. I love going to Ruth's there.

I love that you're getting a little rest while Renn takes the kids on fun outings.

I am a very sounds sleeper and it takes a lot of noise to wake me up. Until it comes to the kids. ODD is the lightest sleeper on the planet and wakes up to every little sound. Until it comes to the kids. It sort of makes me want to kick him.

Martha said...

I hear you on the Mothers needing sleep. My darling husband is a wonderful deep sleeper (and so am I, but not as deep as he is)... he never hears anything at night. Crazy how that works. My heart is with you and I hope this little man is a better sleeper than the Captian. :) btw, I'll be in Utah first two weeks of November and then again all of January! :) I'll call when I land so I can stop by for a visit. Hugs from Philly! The leaves are gorgeous here right now.

The Libutti Family said...

Amen, sister.

Carolanne said...

He's adorable. Does he sleep with his mouth open often? Adorable. I sometimes wish I had a little more clarity too. It's frustrating to have so many perfect, irreplaceable moments and not be able to capture them clearly. It's like taking the perfect picture only to find that it's out of focus on closer inspection. But it's better than not having the moments at all.

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