Wednesday, October 27, 2010
little man
You have slept a lot today, which has allowed me to feed your brothers and clean up most of their messes. Hopefully Grandma will not have to have another one of those days when she wants to kick us all out of the house. Sometimes the messes pile up so fast that she comes home to a pretty complete disaster, so I don't blame her. 8 more months and we'll all be gone, and maybe she'll even miss us a little.
You, my dear; I know she will miss.
Sir O wants nothing more than to be constantly in your face. The Captain just wants whatever Sir O wants. So you are terribly popular; too bad you can't quite enjoy it. You can screw up your face into a pretty convincing portrait of agony, and you make little mousy sounds that set my body to leaking milk with gusto. You hate being naked, as have all of my babies, and I have to turn the shower on with the water scalding hot to warm up the bathroom to your satisfaction when we bathe you. (Don't worry, you are personally nowhere near the scalding hot water)
You've begun to be more awake when you are awake. Your eyes are just starting to give the satisfactory effect of actually focusing on what you try to look at. You love to be held, and I wish I could hold you more than I do. Unfortunately most of my job description still requires full use of both hands and so I'm constantly trying to set you down - usually when you're not quite ready to allow it. I'm remembering that babies your age have the unholy quirk of popping their eyes open the moment they are laid down, no matter how deeply they were sleeping just milliseconds prior.
I'm happy to find that on my third-go-round I am significantly less distressed by the hard parts of each little phase. This time around I actually believe that it is a phase and will end. Somehow that makes the sleep-deprivation, the engorgement, and the inability to complete mundane tasks infinitesimally easier to bear.
So each night, when you and I are awake and the rest of the house is fast asleep, we'll squeeze our bonding in and I will try to enjoy you and breathe you in. I have not got much time before you develop a personality, then a will of your own, and before I know it you'll be giving me reasons to yell and reprimand and sigh. But for now, you are a tiny little body with a pure little spirit. You adapt to being in that body a little more each minute, and despite the part of me that wants to keep you this way, I'm excited for the day I see you playing alongside your brothers.
If my children can learn to enjoy each others' company, and grow up to be some of each other's favorite people, then this whole mom bit - misery of pregnancy and insanity of young-motherhood - will be unquestionably worth it.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
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3 comments:
Oh Emm.. Your post are so sweet, I am so enjoy reading your blog. and believe it or not every time I read about one of you beautiful boys how I yearn for children of my own someday...
Em, he's beautiful. And this was SO beautifully written.
beautifully written. I need a tissue....
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