Neck Deep

Totally irrelevant photos of summer-ness at our house.

I've just survived having Mr Renn out of town 2 of the last 4 weeks.  Granted, they were the two bookending weeks of those 4, and each trip was technically less than a week, but still, it was a lot of fudging by this mama who really absolutely requires a ton of extra support from Mr Renn in order to make this grad-school thing work.  In fact, my entire Summer term has been sort of stilted by it.  I'm  now trying frantically to get everything back on-track and caught up, all while fielding an endless stream of popsicles stolen from the freezer and left to melt on my couch.  (While the freezer door is left open, as often as not.)  The entropy at my house is mind-blowing, friends.

Also - sleep deprivation.  I don't think that the severity of my sleep deprivation is actually getting any worse, but the longevity of it continues to get more drawn out, and the effects keep getting more severe.  My judgment, depth-perception, forecasting, and problem-solving skills are all pretty much shot.

So, when I've had a day like last Thursday, when Mr Renn was out of town, and I was running on every iota of energy and will I had, and embarrassing things kept piling on me, all I've been able to do is laugh and shrug it off.  If I tried to apologize for it or justify myself, I'd implode.

Thursday - Lots of small crazinesses, involving scissors and renegade rolie-polies, but I knew that Mr Renn wouldn't be coming home to relieve the babysitter, and I felt morally obligated to have dinner made before she showed up.  So, after putting Bunny down for a nap, I sent the two younger boys out to play in the sprinklers and chopped and sautéed and braised like a mad-woman.  (Sir O was with Mr Renn on this trip).  At some point when my hands were covered in something slimy, I got a knock at my door, and answered it all aproned-up with a dish towel in hand.  It was a man from my neighborhood with whom I'd never had a conversation before, wondering if I was aware that the Gentleman was hanging out nearly a block away, stark naked.

How do you answer that sort of a question?  Also - why is it always people whose children never gave them this kind of grief that find and return our kids in these circumstances?  The lack of empathy was searing.  Also, my babysitter showed up right at that very moment and was driving slowly, escorting our Gentleman home, and laughing her head off.

She informed me that she wanted to take my kids swimming, and I said "go for it," but you'll need my van.  And TOTALLY FORGETTING that Mr Renn was out of town and I had a perfectly functional car sitting in my garage, I swapped vehicles with her and drove her unfamiliar, generic white chevy to school that night.  Then, after class, I walked up to the first generic, white chevy (with a graduation tassel and lei hanging from the rear view mirror, in my defense) and tried to open it.  No go.  Did it occur to me that it was the wrong car?  Oh no, I made 3 phone calls and spent almost 20 minutes trying to get into that car.  Only after I had asked my babysitter to pack up my kids and come get me, did I glance up and notice an awfully similar look car parked one row over.  Which I promptly unlocked and drove home feeling as sheepish as I ever have.

The power of sleep friends, cannot be over-rated.  As such, grad school appears to be making me dumber.



But, despite how awesome I am at failing all the time, (hopefully not in school, but I can't ever eliminate the possibility) we are having a pretty pleasant summer.  My kids get along with each other really amazingly well  (which is to say, more often than not).  Everybody seems willing to forgive everyone else for doing dumb things at regular intervals.  We hold hands and have fun most days.   And I haven't quit yet.