But RELIEF it is. We are IN.
Renn called me at about 5pm yesterday with the news. He opened the letter as soon as he saw it and when the first word is "congratulations" you sort of know the rest.
To tell the truth, I am completely bewildered by the whole thing. It's been up in the air for so so long... we applied back in June. I've sort of adjusted to having my entire future up in the air. So now that all that futureness is becoming less fuzzy I'm having good, but still mixed emotions. It's fabulous to know, to be able to plan, to not have to wait, it's just that I was getting used to the ambivalence. It's exciting and scary and good and a little bit hard.
Most of our family and friends have been uber supportive and happy for us. Renn's parents seemed pleased, we've gotten lots of congratulatory emails (thanks for those). Only my mother has given us a mixed response. I think the idea of having a new grandbaby and then having it almost immediately fly hundreds of miles away is making her kind of blue. I don't blame her - the prospect of that particular chain of events is enough to drown out my enthusiasm too. Frankly it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do. BUT I still think it's better than waiting another year to get things going and move on the next part of life, so I'm determined to keep my chin up and be as excited as I can manage. It's good news, it's fabulous news. There's just going to be a few bumpy months.
So everyone, be excited and relieved for us. We finally know what's going to happen in our lives this year. We can finally start planning. Renn is overwhelmed with gratitude and is feeling a little bit nervous. It's altogether too much emotion. Plus I am still remarkably pukey and hormonal, which isn't helping anything.
I would like to point out that we are still very much in need of prayers. Keep them coming!
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