Monday, April 24, 2006

Happy Face Adhesive

Mr. Renn is learning a lot. I think he used to be jealous of the attention the dogs get from me and my family. "Why don't you ever want to rub my belly?..." But I don't think I'll ever hear such things from him again. He's never seen me cry this much, or this spontaneously. He doesn't like it. I keep telling him it's okay for me to cry and it's okay for me to be sad. I'm sad and tired and I cry a lot and it's okay. He's learning.

We also started reading "Mitten Strings For God" as recommended by Tracy. It has been marvelous. First of all it is great just to slow down and read aloud to each other. It's nice quiet time together. Second of all it's a peaceful brilliant book and it helps so much to read it and feel hopeful about something without feeling disrespectful to my current pain. We're both learning. I adore the concept of "taking care of the invisible..." Yesterday we read together on the back porch swing and watched a storm come in while dinner was cooking. Perfect melancholy bliss. (Everything happy will be melancholy for me for a while yet - and that's just as it should be...)

Our baby seems to be very excited to get the third trimester underway. He kicks and shoves and stretches in a "hurry and get me out of here" kind of way.... all the time. Mr. Renn loves it. I asked him if he gets tired of feeling my belly. (I'm always grabbing his hand and putting it on the more eruptive spots) He said "No way, it's my son..." That gave me chills and made me happy. Moments like that make everything seem a little more real and manageable.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are doing better. I was worried about you all weekend. I am glad the baby is doing good! Only a couple of months left and you will be a mom! It is the most wonderful gift you could ever recieve. I love being a mom. It is so hard, but so rewarding. I hope you feel a little better this week. You are in my prayers.

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