Wednesday, December 12, 2007

mulling

We're doing the crazy chicken dance at my house. I'm scrambling to do everything that needs to be done before we leave town. Piano lessons, visiting teaching, keeping Sir O from turning my house into a total disaster area. That's about it. Oh, and a healthy dose of internet time, because honestly........
Mr Renn has his LAST FINAL of the semester tomorrow morning. I cannot adequately express how READY I am to have a wee parenting break. Just a few moments here and there to not constantly keep track of where Sir O is and whether what he's doing is potentially dangerous. Bliss.

Oh, but I have a rock in my shoe.... or a figurative one. Most of you who have blogs have read this already. I wouldn't have read it if I hadn't kept stumbling across links to it.
You know what, it made me mad. What's frustrating is that no part of the concepts actually being emphasized bothered me. (Although I still refuse to be bullied into private-ness. I try never to make decisions based on fear, as a principle) It was an aside that seriously got under my skin. What bugged me was the opening paragraph that probably inadvertently made all mother's of young children who blog about their kids look pretty lame.... and then another comment later on about mother who blog but don't talk about their kids being somehow "improved"......
Maybe it was entirely unintended, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

So pardon a tiny rant. If you are not in a position to humor my little rant, then consider this the end of the post and carry on.

I am a mother. I struggle with this everyday because I chose it, I still do choose it. I have to consciously choose it everyday. And given any other choice, I'd still choose it. But it is HARD. And you know what, this phase of motherhood, with littly tiny ones who can't be reasoned with.... is totally overwhelming. The only thing keeping me sane many days is the release that comes with blogging. And for me, it's not about attracting readers or becoming a great writer. It's about proving that I existed through all of this. Because it's just me and Sir O.... and guess what? Sadly HE'S not going to remember ANYTHING I do just yet. And maybe you think my kid is cute, and maybe you don't.... that's okay. Being cute isn't really that important. He's a healthy, vibrant kid. And every healthy, vibrant kid is a miracle. For that matter being healthy and vibrant aren't really prerequesits, are they?
So any implication that "mommy blogs" are ordinary simply because there are so many of them DOES NOT SIT WELL WITH ME AT ALL.
WE ARE MOTHERS, AND THAT HAPPENS TO BE THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK THAT THERE IS. SO WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON EACH OTHER?
Can't we use language and words and thoughts that are a little more forgiving, soft, and supportive?
I cannot be the only person who's found my tolerance for ascerbic tongue-in-cheek sarcasm wears thin when I realize how over-abundant it is in the world.
Can't we occasionally stop trying to make ourselves sound witty (at the expense of others) and just be nice?

Okay, yeah. I know. It's not going to happen. Dream on self.....
but it still makes my blood boil.

8 comments:

chan said...

I honestly don't think blogging about our kids is lame. I love it actually! I love seeing what everyone else's little ones are doing!:) The only reason I am taking my blog private, is because of all of those crazies out there now days. Even though there is a small chance of anything happening, it will make me sleep better at night. The only people who really read my blog anyway, are my family and friends like you!:) I don't have enough cleverness and awesome to read posts like a lot of people, so no one will really miss anything...:) And by the way, I love reading your blog and seeing sir O grow up!

Brett & JoLynn said...

Hi Emily! JoLynn Greenwood (Woodland) from BYU here. I love reading your blog and the blogs of all my other friends who are mothers. They make my life (I also stay at home with my 3 year old and 6 month old) seem a little more normal, and they also help me laugh at the craziness of it all. Being a mom is hard work. Anyway, here is the link for my blog http://bgreenwood.blogspot.com/. Keep up the great blogging!

glittersmama said...

woohoo for finishing finals!! I hope you enjoy Renn's out of school time.

I love the phrase you used, "I have a rock in my shoe..."

tracy m said...

If I didn't blog about my kids, I would be bonafide insane by now. I do it for me, and for the same reason you do it... to prove all this happened.

I love seeing pictures of your family and of Sir O.

Yay on Renn finishing finals!!

(I sent your box Priority Tuesday morning... you should have it by Friday- when are you leaving for Utah?)

hairyshoefairy said...

Thanks for posting your thoughts on this. I agree with you and Tracy. Despite what a T-shirt I like says, I do not "blog for the fame." I blog for me. To have a record that I existed and thought and felt something. And to keep my sanity. It's way cheaper than therapy.

Also, who is she - or anyone else for the matter - to judge whether the drivel I post is worthwhile, simply because I do or do not post about my kid. I thought I got to be the judge. It is, after all, my own little space that I have complete control over (sometimes the ONLY thing in my life I have control over). I can do whatever I want with it. I also have to say that we, as young mommies who happen to blog, are doing what she claims to be doing as a non-mommy-blogger; making connections and relating to people.

I understand the need for privacy and all that stuff but I don't want to go overboard. After all, if my blog wasn't public I wouldn't have met you or Tracy, or many other e-maginary friends. and I only share as much as I feel comfortable with those I feel comfortable.

Wow. That kind of turned into a rant of my own, didn't it? Sorry for the seriously long, emotional comment. That post just kinda rubbed me wrong.

Em said...

hsf - I'm glad I'm not the only one who that didn't sit entirely well with. I appreciate the need to be prudent, and am grateful for ideas on how to do it. It was the whole "If you're only going to blog about your kids you might as well take your blog private because you're not going to make a meaningful contribution to a public forum" attitude that got under my skin.

Tracy - I leave Saturday.... so Friday will be perfect! (And I have a backup plan set up with my neighbor, just in case...)

aLi said...

*epiphanized*
Thanks for sharing that... you are so smart. I just read it and didn't really apply it or think about it. That much. I thought about maybe making my blog MORE private, but I'm comfortable with my settings.
Thanks for standing up for us moms with young kids. I don't know how the pre-blogging generations of Moms did it. (Ok, they probably just talked a lot on the phone or to neighbors).
I LOVE My BLOG! I agree with you... it is an escape from the routine hard life from the thankless job called Motherhood.

Angela and Family said...

You go girl! I agree, her tone was mildly irritating. I love your blog and all those of my young mother friends. Perhaps when we are mothers of teenagers our blogging my cease, discontinue talking about our children, or go private but none of those things will make us better than we are today.

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