Monday, June 23, 2008

prayer list item# 1: please help me function

Okay, so I've never had much of a tolerance for illness, pain, discomfort..... it goes without saying that I make a pathetic pregnant lady.
The nausea is kicking my trash.
Poor Mr Renn is at his wit's end. I have become the most utterly useless homemaker you ever saw. By the time Mr Renn gets home from school the house is a D-zaster, Oliver looks homeless and I'm capable of doing little more than holding very still trying not to puke. (To say nothing of dishes piling in the kitchen and don't even say the WORD dinner or I will lose it). Luckily the holding very still to keep from puking method usually works pretty well for me. Unfortunately this leaves Mr Renn with all the housekeeping responsibilities on top of his heavy load of schoolwork and church responsibilities.
I think he cut me more slack with my last pregnancy because somehow I was still bread-winning through the nausea. Plus there wasn't a toddler to keep up with, so there wasn't so much compensating for him to do. Now he just comes home and wonders, sometimes aloud what on earth I did with myself all day.
I held very still and tried not to puke.
It's as pathetic as it sounds, so I don't even get offended by this remark.

I tried to buck-up and run errands today. I went to the grocery store and had to turn around and leave and re-brace myself to go in again. I only lasted about 8 minutes and managed to get only 1/3 of the things on my list before I absolutely had to get out of there.

Could everybody please comment about how useless they are/were when pregnant? Exaggerate if you have to, I need to feel like I'm not the world's worst wife today.

13 comments:

hairyshoefairy said...

You poor girl!! Ugh! Yes, the holding very still and trying not to puke thing was pretty much what got me through with Peanut. When I do get pregnant again I'm afraid it will go pretty much the way you're describing. It kind of scares me a little.

Also, when NYDD would come home and ask me (while I'm lying on the couch wallowing in misery) what on earth I did all day I would tell him, "I grew a lung. What did you do?"

Ginnie said...

I'm useless not being pregnant. add pregnancy into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster. Poor Nate.

I feel for you. Pregnancy life is NOT fun. Wish I was there to help.

tracy m said...

Oh, Em, I'm so sorry! Have Renn go back and read my archives from when I was pregnant with Abby.

David had to do EVERYTHING, and we had two wild boys running around. 'Member fainting? 'Member bedrest? 'Member early labor?

It's just the way it is.

A few words of advice, from someone who totally understands...

Carry a lemon with you- (or some other smell you can tolerate- lemons worked for me) when you go to run errands. The grocery store is the worst cacophony of smells, and I don't think any man will ever understand what happens to some pregnant women's sense of smell. I could be three rooms away, and even David OPENING the fridge would send me for my bucket. So carrying a lemon, and holding it to my nose, helped in the market. I must've looked insane, but who cares.

Also, if the nausea is positively overwhelming, the doctor can give you things to help. Phenergan, Zofram are both used for extreme nausea. If you are losing weight, you might want to ask... Also, I had really good success taking one Bennedryl tablet- the ingredient is totally safe during pregnancy, and it's the same stuff used for motion sickness. It took the edge off. The downside, it makes you sleepy the first few days you take it- but then you get used to it, and it really, really helped me survive. I took it with all three kids, and they are all fine.

Keep ziplock bags in your purse, with a few paper towels wadded in them, so if you have to use them, the, um, barf doesn't splatter so much, and is hidden in the paper towels. Yes, I know. TMI, but it works.

Wear a maxipad, so when you have to be sick, you don't have to change your undies, too. I know, TMI again, but learn from my misery.

I had good luck rubbing a little Vick's Vaporub under my nose when I had to change diapers- and breathe through your mouth.

Oh, and you might enjoy this post, from the MMW archives. I wrote it when expecting Abby.

Hoping and praying things get better soon. Sending love...

tracy m said...

Oops, here's the link:

http://www.mormonmommywars.com/?p=216

Amanda said...

I was a complete wreck with each pregnancy. With my first I didn't get out of bed except to literally crawl to the bathroom. All we had was a shower and I couldn't even stand up to use it, I would sit on the floor of the shower because standing up made me throw up.
I ended up in the hospital with my first and the current one for re-hydration.
At the beginning of this pregnancy we were all in Grenada while Jas was doing the med school thing and he would have to get up get the kids breakfast and then head off to school. He would come home for lunch and feed the kids again and put them down for their naps and use that time to study a little. Then he would have to clean up the kitchen and make dinner then put a movie on for the kids, hopefully get some more studying done and then put the kids to bed. Needless to say his grades suffered a bit and we were a little afraid he would have to repeat a class. Luckily everything turned out fine, but I had to leave the island for that to happen.
I got so sick that I eventually had to have my mom and sister fly down and bring me home because my kidney's were shutting down and I was starving.
So I know EXACTLY how you feel.
I would suggest Zofran. In my opinion it is the best thing out there. It is the only thing that worked for me and I'm pretty sure it's the only reason I didn't end up spending a lot more time in the hospital.
I hope it gets better soon.
It's a good thing babies are so cute and worth it.

Em said...

@hsf:
I tried the lung thing and got the retort: "you're not doing that, the baby grows on its own, you just have to supply the nutrients."

I responded that I knew several people who'd be willing to do some slapping.

Plan B anyone?

dandelionmama said...

OK, if my husband came home and asked me what in the world I did all day, dishes would fly. Ok, maybe not dishes, but certainly the Swiffer would fly.

Any woman with young kid(s) who is pregnant gets a pass.

chan said...

I could function with my first. I went to work and everything for the whole 9 months, despite throwing up every single morning. With Kinley, I didn't do a dang thing. I had Caden watch movies all day long, the dishes were piled in the sink, toys everywhere, you know. I seriously have never thrown up that much in my life! I am so scared to have another one, because I don't know how I will take care of my kids! I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry! Nothing helped with me. I tried everything. I just had to suck it up and deal with it. Hopefully something will work for you. Try the lemon thing. I have never heard of that one!

Krystal said...

You have got to get the Zofram. It is a blessing in and of itself. It is the only thing that would help me. Without it I thought I would die. I mean you have to pick the days you really need it the most even though most days you feel like thats the day, it is so hard I know. I am so sorry. As for good old Renn, just remind him that it's not fun for you either. Cody had a really hard time the first time around for us, but with KJ he was so good. This is the part of the pregnancy that Renn has to do and deal with. Remind him he is getting the easy, better end of it, and you would be glad to trade places if you could. As for the sickness it never goes away, aleast for me it didn't, so hold on, and remember I'm sorry you are sick. It really is worth it, you know that, it's just hard to remember when you would much rather die, than feel sick for one more day.

Tirzah said...

I'm on my third baby right now, and in the first trimester I had days that I think I woke up more tired than I went to bed! I spent a lot of time trying to stay awake so that my kids didn't kill each other! I wasn't always successful!

And why oh why is the sense of smell so strong during pregnancy? It drives me nuts that I am the only one who can smell things!

(Google reader suggested your blog to me!)

Kori said...

Hang in there, Em! You will survive, I promise. It's having another kid that makes this time round so much more difficult. My doc gave me Piradox (a mix of vit B6 and Benadryl) to survive being prego with Miss Lily. It made me kinda tired for the first little while but, at least I wasn't puking constantly. If your doc offers something, please try it. I know some people who are simply too proud to take anything , thinking that they're keeping the baby's health in mind but, I promise, your doc won't offer anything that's not safe for you AND baby. You have nothing to prove! Do what you have to do to survive. Renn is very capable of picking up the slack for you (though he might do it with a frown on his face). I've been very lucky and Jake hasn't complained a bit about having to give me a hand the past 6 months--it's lucky for him too! Anyway, vit B 6 is in the Power Aid drinks and has been proven to help, ginger is supposed to be good, too. I will keep you in my prayers; "please help me function" is very simular to my daily pleads as of late, too. You are definitely not alone.

aLi said...

Em, I am really sorry you are so sick. My thoughts and prayers are with you, too. I have to say you have a lot of good words and advice from all your loving friends here! Tell Renn that Ali says to back off. Said out of the kindness of my heart, of course.

I didn't get sick with my 1st, and I was always worried something was wrong. So, you can focus on your side effects of pregnancy and be reassured that your hormones are doing what they are supposed to. Sorry, I am not so good for advice. But my heart aches for you!

pepper said...

yikes! I'm so sorry you are feeling completely terrible and that you aren't getting more sympathy. I've been a huge mess through this second pregnancy, rarely cook, rarely clean, don't feel like going out much, don't shop etc. Sometimes my back hurts so intensely I can't even stand up so I just slowly crawl around the house stopping to rest wherever I happen to land. Pregnancy is like having a major disability and we can only take it a day at a time and do what we can do even if that is just holding still trying not to puke...that job is big enough. I do hope things get better for you soon.

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