Sunday, March 28, 2010

Got Overwhelmedness?

(Originally written on Feb 2nd. Saved for today, my little sister's birthday. I thought she'd like this kind of present.)


Have you ever had the sensation of being utterly surprised by something not completely unexpected?
Yes, well.....



About halfway through January, Sir O started opening his prayers with "Thank you for our baby." I thought this was a little odd, as he normally mentions the Captain by name. A little seed was planted in my mind wondering, "is it possible?"

Mr Renn scheduled an appointment for me to finally be admitted as a patient at his school. (Sadly this dental student's wife hadn't been to the dentist in almost 3 1/2 years.) We made arrangements for a friend to watch the kids and planned for me to do a full admit at the school. Only thing was, the proof of un-pregnancy wasn't showing up. And x-rays and pregnancy do not mix. So the night before my appointment, I dutifully bought a pregnancy test (and have concluded it is entirely worth an extra $2 for a digital one). When I first got home and excused myself to get ready for bed and take the test I actually forgot what I was doing and well, forgot to take it. So I had to stay up until I needed to pee again.

Sometimes I am brilliant.
Come 11pm I was the only one awake, and I could finally patter down to the bathroom. After a couple of moments of having an hour glass pulsing on the monitor, I was surprised to find myself shocked at the unmistakable pronouncement, "Pregnant."

Suddenly, "What?!!?!"
The Captain is still such a baby. He's still not sleeping well. He's still so clingy!
I can't be sick! I have so much work to do to be ready for this move!(e.t.a. the pukey floodgates opened on Valentines day, and misery ensued - I'm sure nobody who sees me on a quasi-regular basis is the least bit surprised)
Sir O has been so difficult lately, how will I ever be a good parent to him if I don't have the energy to get off the couch?

Oh.The.Panic.


But you know what, it is pretty much impossible to be unhappy about the idea of a new baby for long. Before 2 seconds had passed I had an inexplicable smile on my face. It is nice to feel like your family is not complete, but that you could not possibly be doing anything more to get them all here any faster.

And in an entirely inexplicable way, I'd been feeling almost guilty about not being pregnant. (Even though this is sure to evoke lots of "was it planned to have them this close together?" comments.) I felt like I was supposed to be. But I passed it off and attributed it to the fact that almost half of the people I know are currently expecting.


This is definitely throwing us for a loop. As I write this, I'm not sure how an October baby is going to affect our short and long term plans, and I don't know how we're going to work everything out. But I have an unquenchable peace burning in my bosom. A testament to tender mercies and a loving God. I have no tenacious fear, just a few wobbly wonder-worries. Once again, I don't know how I'm going to do what needs to be done, I expect a lot of things I thought "needed" to be done will simply not happen, but I know I will manage just the same. God has promised me that when I'm on His errand, and I do my best, He will make up for my failings.

So, here goes.......

31 comments:

Aby Runyan said...

I was wondering when this post would be coming - ever since in one of your proclamation posts you wrote you are leaving it up the the Lord as to how many you have and when. I thought, well that could be pretty darn soon then!

Congratulations on SO many levels. For having that kind of awesome bravery and trust in the Lord. For actually being pregnant (which is an awesome thing in itself)! And for taking it all in stride. You'll most certainly be blessed in many ways.

So just out of curiousness (I'm sure that's not actually a word), will you continue on Duggar style? Or do you have a limit? I think the Duggars are super cool by the way, I just KNOW that 19 kids would most definitely kill ME.

luvs, aby

glittersmama said...

I am so happy for you. I love these little miracles. I do hope you are feeling better.

Em said...

@Aby - Ha! I shall be very surprised if I prove to be that fertile! I expect when my metabolism changes in about 7 years my body will decide for me that we're done. But we are thinking probably more than the 4 kids Mr Renn told everyone he wanted when we got married......

tyler said...

Number 3 in Oct is the best thing that could ever happen to a family. Just ask my siblings. I'm happy for you! Happy Oct!

Kermit~the~Frog said...

WOW! Congratulations! We left all of ours up to Heavenly Father and have four, all spaced 2 years and 9 months apart, give or take a few weeks. I guess we really know how to celebrate a second birthday. It IS such a leap of faith and at times the answers are simply not clear (like for us, as the question is will there be a fifth or is Sweetums the actual baby of our family?). Regardless, it's character building and I'm proud of you guys.

hairyshoefairy said...

Em! That's fantastic!! Congrats! I'm positive it will all work out as it should with Heavenly Father's help. Sorry about feeling like crap, but you'll make it! Squee!!

Sara said...

how sweet, I'm so happy for you. you're a good mom and you'll continue to be great at all you do, even through the sleepless nights. congrats!!!!!

The Blandon's said...

Em, that is so wonderful. What a blessing this baby will be for your family. Good luck and if you need a break in these next couple of months, just bring your kids over to play!

Stacey said...

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. You are a great mom and these kids are so lucky to have you.

Jenna said...

Congrats!!! That is awesome! I hope that you are feeling ok. We were all wondering if you would get pregnant before you left!! Good luck with everything!!!

Taylor and Stina Cline said...

wahoo!!! I'm so excited! I htink it will work out exepecially well sinc eyou'r emoving here where there is tons fo friends (myself and MANY more) and family to help with the move and everything :-)
I lvoe yoU! CONGRATS!

Lacey said...

wow! congrats, that is really exciting! you are amazing and will be able to get everything done that "needs" to be done. :)

K-Krew said...

Wow! Congratulations! (And I remember having that same feeling of #2 still being a baby when I found out I was pregnant with #3.)

I hope you're feeling better and when you need a break send your boys over to play. Andrew would love it. He is quite taken with Sir O.

pepper said...

Amazing! Congratulations what a lucky lucky baby.

Chell said...

How completely exciting. Congrats..

Ashley said...

Em, I am sorry you have been sick, but how exciting is this?! You have such a beautiful attitude about it. What wonderful news! Your kids will be such good friends being so close. How amazing that your little man started blessing the baby in your family prayers? Can't wait to find out what you are having!!!! Congratulations!

Liz said...

Yeah for babies!!! Man, I am really feeling out of the loop... maybe I need to get pregnant. Just kidding!

You are amazing, I love how Sir O prayed for this little one (I'll cross my fingers for a girl)

--jeff * said...

i think i write this rather often here, but this is one of my favorite posts. and not just because of the solid photographs, although they help.

i love that sir o was the prophet of it all, that you were wise enough to thinking before getting x-rayed, and that the good feeling you're feeling found its way into your writing and that we got to feel a bit of that peace, too.

it will work out.
and i look forward to reading about it.

Angela said...

Funny, that is very similar to what happened to me with our number four baby Evie. I think sometimes the surprises are the best!

Devon said...

Congratulations! I am so excited for you guys. And you are seriously doing such a great job with the little guys so far...so carry on! You're amazing!

aLi said...

EMILY, I am smiling so excited and OVERWHELMED for you. If I knew your number I'd call you up and congratulate you this very instant!!! (But...it is 11:30 pm your time and I bet a phone call at this hour isn't the best time).
HIP HIP HURRAY!
You, once again, are a good example. Lots of faith.
I am seriously laughing out loud with excitement for you! (If you get another boy, great! If you get a little girl, SO GREAT!)
I honestly am surprised. Although I read one of your comments on my cute friend Aby's blog about how you kind of wished you were pregnant. So I was MAYBE thinking something? But not really, honestly.
That is so awesome about O's prayers. I had a similar-ish experience before I got pregnant with Conrad. Makes you realize Who really is in control. I love it. Congratulations, Em!!!

Jenny Dunn said...

emily this is so exciting! I am so happy that you guys will be living so close by soon. congratulations!

Paige Hanna said...

I'm so excited for you! As for the "did you mean to have them so close?" looks you get when people find out you are pregnant, I totally feel you. I think I should walk around with a "no, this was not an accident" sign so people know I'm purposefully insane.

Chantele said...

Congratulations girl!! I am so excited for you! You are an amazing mom, and you have beautiful kids. I hope you start feeling better! I know how it feels to be sick for 9 months, so if you ever need anything let me know.:)

Ginnie said...

Congrats to you and Renn! 3 is a good number :)

The Perry Family said...

Okay, found the "annoucement post". I'm such a nerd. I thought I was caught up. Guess I missed a day. Well, congrats again! You sound so good about it all! I'm so proud of you. All the questions and things to worry about with the upcoming changes, well, you sound at peace and that makes me happy for you! I wish I could help you guys out and watch your kids for you and get you ready for the move. Thanks for helping us out so much!

Lauren and Tyson Fiala said...

Congratulations! We are so so happy for you!! You will be able to handle it all. The Lord will bless you with the strength you need. You have such an exciting year ahead of you and I can't wait to see pictures and hear all about it. I hope you are feeling ok.

Krystal said...

Ok so I just found out on facebook the good news! Congrats!!! I said it all in my comment on facebook so read there, but please know the sickness will pass, the move will come and go, and very soon you will be holding another beautiful baby. Truly such a blessing. Way to see the good through the hard times! You are so strong. Hang in there.

Carolyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Skinners said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I was so suprised to hear the news! Do you want a girl this time around? I hope you get feeling better soon.

The Hodges Family said...

Congrats and I hope this is somehow an easier pregnancy for you....many blessings and lots of love coming your way! XOXO

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...