Saturday, June 19, 2010

I could apologize profusely

for falling behind, but what good would that do?

This entire month has been crazy for me.  Almost entirely good crazy, but still full of more flexibility and adjustments then I can properly wrap my brain around.  We've gone from living as a family of 4 in a tiny apartment in PA to living as a family of (8, then) 7 in an oversized house with 5 animals. I've gone from having Mr Renn gone all the time to home all the time, and soon back to gone all the time again.  (He's terribly productive when he's home, but ironically I'm not terribly productive when he's home...hence the blog lag). I've gone from looking mildly pregnant to having people think I'm due any day (that's a treat).  I've flown across the country 3 times, I've spent almost 5 entire days with out my kids,  I've taken my floral design exam and passed (!!),  we've moved all kinds of furniture and "stuff" around to get settled, and I've never once gotten enough sleep.

Between packing, ultrasound, moving, unpacking, seeing my brother off on his mission, flying back for my test, and facing my 10 year high school reunion I've had a steady stream of stresses, large and small (luckily none huge.)  And now that I'm at the end of the list, and the steady stream has run dry, I'm slightly at a loss.  No more living off of endorphins.  I can, perhaps, begin to mold a new routine.  I can, perhaps, allow myself to start enjoying the perks of living here.  (Even if I comment about how I miss the trees of PA a dozen times a day).  Perks like Sir O discovering the joy of cousins, and the Captain discovering the joy of belly buttons.

Day Farm



And my reunion was a surprisingly good experience.  Enough people showed up that there were plenty to see and catch up with, but not so many that it was overwhelming.  Mr Renn talked me through my few awkward moments (he's golden that way) and only one person commented about how my current life path seems inconsistent with my "most likely to succeed" image in high school..... and even that was expressed admirably. We were overdressed, and I was okay with that.  It's the one way in which I depart from Audrey Hepburn's mantra.  I'd rather be over than under-dressed.  (Probably because I don't look as good underdressed as she would).  The evening wrapped up in much less time than I thought it would and we were able to get home and  relieve our babysitters before 10.

10 yr reunion

It's about what you could hope for from an experience with the phrase "high school" in it.  I was kind of surprised to feel happy about how old the whole thing made me feel.  I kind of like getting old.  I like moving on.  I like the phase of life that I'm in, and I'm rather looking forward to the phases coming in my immediate future.  I'm not the least bit stuck in high school ( I don't think I am anyway), and I'm pretty much capable of looking on it as a time in my past when I learned and grew and struggled and was awkward (not that dissimilar to now), without being bitter about the painful awkwardness of then or of now...


I've given up on thinking the awkwardness isn't supposed to be there.  Embracing imperfection, without ceasing to strive for improvement,  is the best part of growing up.

6 comments:

hairyshoefairy said...

I miss the trees from The East as well. I'm glad you had a fun time at the reunion. It makes me excited for mine. I'm glad you can sort of slow down now and recover from the craziness of moving and flying and everything else.

Angela said...

I'm glad you were able to attend your reunion (you look great by the way). I was surprised when I got an invitation to my 5 year high school reunion the other day. I don't feel like I can be old enough to have any kind of "reunion"! This may also be attributed to the fact that, apart from a mission, I don't really have much to show for myself from the past 5 years. From the looks of it, you did manage to live up to your "most likely to succeed" potential.

Martha said...

I'm so jealous you were able to go see friends from high school. Yes, it was a truly awkward time in our lives, but there were good memories... and great people too! You look lovely, btw. I absolutely love that dress on you. What a cute prego lady you are.

Btw, I'll be in town in Aug. Sad to have missed you when you came out for your exam, but I'm so glad it went well! Have a lovely summer!!

Kaydee said...

Hey it was fun to see you. You always have a way to capture things with words. You did look darling and hopefully we see you again soon.

Ashley said...

Em, you are such a doll!!! I am glad you had a nice time. I knew with Riley being so little I wouldn't make it out to Utah for it, but on Friday I got a little sad I wasn't going after all. I bet it was fun seeing everyone.

Cam said...

You ARE successful!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

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