Saturday, May 21, 2011

Letters: my firstborn

Dear Sir O,

I do not doubt that God is good at His job. And in His infinite wisdom, He sent you to me.  Clearly I have not got infinite wisdom just yet, because there are still days that I wonder how in the world we are a good match.

sir o

I often hear parents comment about the children that "do them in" with their oversized personalities.  This is often part of an explanation of why that child was their final familial addition.  But you are my firstborn.  I knew you would not be my last attempt at parenting, no matter how much trouble you gave me.  And truthfully, I have yet to meet your equal in stature of personality.  Yours is huge, but also deep and broad.  The sheer scope of your personality astounds your mother.  And your personality's capacity for breadth of dynamics just wows me.  You can go from so brazen, stubborn, and impenetrable to remarkably sensitive and receptive in a startling short period of time.

sir o's tea party

You are capable and versed at insolence, defiance, selective listening, and blatant disobedience.  I cannot trust you to yourself if there is an ounce of sugar within a hundred yards of your being.  You persist in learning certain things the hard way and you still cannot eat without wearing your food by the time you are done.  You do not ever hold still, not even in your sleep.  Your mind can dart from one idea to another like a hummingbird  on 12 cups of coffee.  You make me tired.

sir o - a self contained moment

But you are also evolving into a remarkable sibling.  You do things without provocation that make my heart sing.  4 times out of 5 you share with your brother as though not-sharing were not an option.  Your memory of all the rules becomes crystal clear when it comes to recognizing when he's breaking one that endangers him.  You give cuddles and kisses, and to our baby gentleman you give them in abundance.  My favorite thing in the world right now is your unprovoked "thank you" during the course of a meal.  You must be our child after all if good food brings out the best in you.  This is no fluke either, for the last month at least 3 times a week we get your compliments to the chef.  I adore it.

sir o

You're starting to ask real questions and want real answers.  Having curiosity as a major character trait myself, I find I have a remarkable reserve of patience for this.  I so badly want you to feel safe asking us whatever your mind yearns to understand. I hope you don't mind that sometimes we just don't know and we tell you so.  (Usually with a promise to find out more together).

You stretch me in a myriad of hard and uncomfortable ways, and force me to see truth in the cliche that you are teaching me far more than I can possibly teach you.  We need each other that way.  So I suppose it's not so very hard to see just enough wisdom in the stewardship God gave me to decide to trust Him the rest of the way through it.

sir o


hairyshoefairy said...

Beautifully written and especially poignant at this point of motherhood.

Ashley said...

Beautiful pictures. Beautiful words. Beautiful boy.

Kori said...

I enjoyed this post and can relate to it on many levels. I'm learning many things from my children, despite my past perception that it was my job to teach them. I think you are doing a great job with all 3 of your boys!

Carolanne said...

You have a way with words that I adore. I've never met Sir O in person, but your description of him reminds me a lot of my oldest. Those kinds of personalities are tough to parent, but you can't help but wonder what great purpose they have in store for them. All that steel and creativity and sensitivity has got to make for an amazing adult.

aLi said...

Beautiful Beautiful beautiful. I knew exactly what I was going to say before I saw what everybody else already said. :)

Good luck with choosing a house... scary and exciting.

Aubrey said...

lovely. And true.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...