why yes, I did just go awol for a bit, didn't I?

September, all told, is doing me in.  Between the structure of having Sir O and the Captain in their various preschools and classes, and the onslaught of allergies and migraines that arrived with the changing of seasons, I have been beaten into the ground.

But during my never ending game of catch-up, there have been tender mercies aplenty.
I really do love my life.  Even the hard parts, but for now the hard parts are only hard because they wear me out, not because they give my soul road rash.  It's a nice phase, and I hold my breath. Conditioned response.

Last night I had the boys to myself, and my attempt at a fun dinner of crepes got lousy reviews.  So instead of cleaning up dinner properly, I loaded the boys in the car and drove up the canyon in the rain.  I'm not familiar with any of my local places yet, so I pulled over several times just to look around, and we found a park where the smell of wet October on russian olives was unmistakably divine.



I did my best to warn the boys in advance that it was a short trip, dusk was heading in, and the stuttering rain could start again anytime.  Usually establishing such expectations in advance is helpful, but I think this evening was just a lost cause.  I essentially strongarmed each child into their carseat, stripped articles of clothing that were too wet or muddy for a charitable mother to expect her child to keep on their person, and drove home with a siren of whining in chorus behind me.  I threatened a few times to pull over and let whiners out.  Then began pondering if there was a way to follow through on that threat without subjecting myself to arrest and a debut on the 10 o'clock news.  Especially considering all the articles of clothing they were missing.



Thankfully it occured to me to find something for the little whining men to look forward to.  They are, after all, my progeny.  And I become the whiniest most unmotivated version of myself without a joy or two to anticipate.  So I offered to pull out the Halloween decorations, and my lucky stars aligned and the right buttons were pushed.  Suddenly the whining melted into excitement.  We were all pleasant again, other than the migraine and the mud.  I emerged from the mouth of the canyon triumphant.  It's a small triumph, but I'm owning it.