Saturday, February 25, 2006

How to Catch a Mouse

First stay up really late watching the olympics, fall asleep on the couch but have your brother and sister-in-law there to wake you up when they see the mouse.
Second, chase it in to a toy closet (they are very, very, fast so you must have good chasing skills).
Next you must block off the doorway to prevent escape and have your brother-in-law help you thoroughly go through every toy box to make sure the mouse is not pulling a "reverse Troy episode" (jumping inside the horse to get out rather than get in). Slowly continue until there are fewer and fewer places for the mouse to hide. When contact is made try to hit it with a curtain rod that happens to be in the closet. Chase it around the tiny closet for about 10 minutes. Make sure you make lots of noise so your mother-in-law comes down and tells you you are making too much noise and are going to wake up the whole house. But her scorn will turn into jubilation when you tell her what you have.
Next you must get the mouse really tired by chasing it some more around the closet. Then scoop it up in a big yellow plastic Lego bin with a lid. Hand it to your brother-in-law and then pass it on to your mother-in-law and ask her what to do with it now that you've caught it. She'll stand there for a minute and hear it moving around and freak out and say "flush it down the toilet".
Lastly you go into the bathroom with your brother-in-law and the plastic Lego bin. Roll up the rug and close the door so there is no chance for escape. Have your brother-in-law shake the bin violently to bewilder the mouse (or kill it) and then flush the bewildered mouse down the toilet. Give it a few more flushes and then disinfect the doorknobs and the curtain rod with some Lysol (country scent is preferred).


--jeff * said...

you flushed a mouse down the toilet??
i've never heard that, before.

well sgt., i congratulate you nevertheless on catching the beast and providing a very good story as a result.

...the toilet?? couldn't you just let it outside?

hairyshoefairy said...

Wouldn't your toilet clog? I don't think I trust our plumbing that much. Ick!

Em said...

Mr. Renn tells me it was a very small mouse, less than 2" long... and so he wasn't worried about the plumbing... although I had the same thought.

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